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This Can't Be Love

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May 24, 2005

This semi-unsentimental look at love is a Stage Leftover - a rebroadcast of my February 15th show. Why? Because I'm appearing in the Alpha Players' production of Rogers and Hart's musical comedy The Boys from Syracuse (from which the song "This Can't Be Love" comes, as it happens). Performances are Fridays and Saturdays at 8 PM and Sundays at 2 PM, May 20 through 29 at the Florissant Civic Center. Call 314-921-5678 for ticket information.

PLAYLIST
Selection Source Performer(s) Comments
American Safety Institute: Remember to Brush The Best of the National Lampoon Radio Hour Chevy Chase Don't be a careless person; be a caremore person.
Heartbreak Hotel Guts John Cale Hands down, it's the most psychotic version of this song.
Heartbreak Hotel Tip of the Freberg Stan Freberg "Heartbreak Hotel", from 1956, Was Elvis' first hit single; Freberg's parody (from the same year) was also quite successful for him.
The Great Pretender Tip of the Freberg Stan Freberg This send-up of The Platters' big hit was Freberg's other rock satire from 1956.
Teenage Paradise Italians From Outer Space Alberto y Lost Trios Paranoias Here's another wonderfully warped track from this group.
We Were Wrong Cornology Bonzo Dog Band This loopy parody of '50 teenage love songs is the product of Viv Stanshall's warped brain.
Alone at the Drive In My Broadway Sean McDermott This little bit of teen angst is from Grease (1972)
One More Minute Dare to be Stupid "Weird Al" Yankovic This starts a set of "boy, am I glad THAT relationship is toast" songs.
You're Moving Out Live at Last Bette Midler And that's a GOOD thing.
Take Him The Rogers and Hart CD Joan Morris and Lucy Simon The song is from Pal Joey (1940) and the "him" both women are cheerfully renouncing is the title character. Although he was cleaned up for the 1957 musical, in the stage original (where he was played by Gene Kelley), he's a louse.
I'm Everyone I Have Ever Loved I'm Everyone I Have Ever Loved Martin Mull This peen to narcissism is also the ultimate "good bye and good riddance" song
Can a Match Burn Twice? (Pt. 1) The Best of the National Lampoon Radio Hour Bob Dryden Well, can it?
Public Disservice Message: Mental Hospitals The Best of the National Lampoon Radio Hour Bob Perry Don't bother to volunteer; they'll never notice anyway.
Can a Match Burn Twice? (Pt. 2) The Best of the National Lampoon Radio Hour Bob Dryden Yes, in fact, it can.
They Never Met I'm Everyone I've Ever Loved Martin Mull This one - about an unappealing couple who (fortunately for humanity) never met - starts a set of songs about less-than-ideal couples
He and She The Boys from Syracuse (Studio Cast 1953) Bibi Osterwald, Stanley Prager The Boys From Syracuse (1938) is a Rogers and Hart musical version of A Comedy of Errors. Here, Dromio of Syracuse and his domineering wife Luce exchange stories of happily married couples who richly deserve each other.
We're Gonna Be Alright Sondheim: A Musical Tribute (OC 1973) Laurence Guittard and Teri Ralston This one is from Do I Hear a Waltz? (1965), the only show Richard Rogers did with Stephen Sondheim. On the original cast recording some of Sondheim's lyrics were cut by the far more conservative Rogers. This version restores the cut lyrics (e.g. "Sometimes she drinks in bed /Sometimes he's homosexual").
The Little Things You do Together Company (OC 1970) Elaine Stritch, Company Bobby's married friends give us a display of domestic disharmony. Company ran for 706 performances and is probably one of Sondheim's best-known shows.
Stand Up The Best of the National Lampoon Radio Hour Brian Doyle-Murray If Salvador Dali had been a stand-up comic, this is probably what his act would have sounded like.
Mr. Veal Chop Commercial Intro The Best of the National Lampoon Radio Hour Bob Perry Ask for an extra order of lima beans!
Onion Radio News 16 The Onion's Finest News Reporting Doyle Redland Jesus Christ Hires Associate Christ
Testing The Rutland Weekend Song Book Eric Idle and Neil Innes This kicks off a series of connected tracks from the soundtrack album for the satirical TV series Rutland Weekend Television, about a fictional low-budget TV network in rural England. The show never made it to the USA, possibly because many of the jokes were so specific to English life and culture.
Communist Cooking The Rutland Weekend Song Book Eric Idle and Neil Innes Marx and Lenin host a cooking show.
The Old Gay Whistle Test The Rutland Weekend Song Book Eric Idle and Neil Innes Innes' Bob Dylan parody.
Accountancy Shanty The Rutland Weekend Song Book Eric Idle and Neil Innes "So scribble away and balance the books / And sing an accountancy shanty".
Football The Rutland Weekend Song Book Eric Idle and Neil Innes We call it soccer over here, but the fan mentality appears to be remarkably similar.
Boring The Rutland Weekend Song Book Eric Idle and Neil Innes Why real life usually doesn't sound that great set to music.
Goodafternoon The Rutland Weekend Song Book Eric Idle and Neil Innes Idle brings the day's broadcasting to a close with a typically hallucinatory parody of a smarmy announcer and Innes sings that latest hit "The Hard to Get" ("It's easy to you, you soon get the knack / Just shrug your shoulders and turn your back").
Visual Arts 5 The Ten Minute University John Moschitta A quick (under 90 seconds) course in cinema appreciation.
Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man Show Boat (Revival Cast 1993) Lonette McKee, Gertha Boston, Michel Bell, Company This set pairs some classic pop songs with Tom Lehrer's parodies of them. This one is the classic example of the "he may be a bum but he's my guy" song.
She's My Girl The Remains on Tom Lehrer Tom Lehrer Lehrer sends it up with a song about a guy married to a woman who has "nothing whatsoever to recommend her".
When You are Old and Gray The Remains of Tom Lehrer Tom Lehrer As a bonus, here's a shot at "Will You Love Me in December" and other songs about everlasting love.
The Boulevard of Broken Dreams (Gigolo and Gigolette) The Essential Tony Bennett Tony Bennett Ray Coniff conducts the orchestra for this 1956 recording of the Harry Dubin/Al Warren tango classic.
The Masochism Tango The Remains of Tom Lehrer Tom Lehrer Leher's parody of romantic tango songs takes the notion of the pain of love literally ("My heart entreats / Just hear those savage beats / So go put on your cleats / And come and trample me")
Peeved This is a Recording Lily Tomlin Peeved at the phone company? The creator of Ernestine understands.
John and Marsha Tip of the Freberg Stan Freberg This 1951 single was a big hit for Freberg - the first of many.
None but the Lonely Heart Spike Jones is Murdering the Classics Spike Jones Spike Jones and Helen Grayco provide the John-and-Marsha narration for this one.
Turtle Woman The Best of the National Lampoon Radio Hour Christopher Guest Another heart-warming number from the NatLamp folks.
Beware The Best of Louis Jordan Louis Jordan From 1946, this warning to potential husbands appeared in an all-black musical of the same title.
Safe, Sane and Single Five Guys Named Moe (OC 1992) Jerry Dixon, Doug Eskew, Milton Craig Nealy, Kevin Ramsey, Jeffrey D. Same, Glenn Turner Jordan seems to have had something against marriage; he co-authored this one.


Acronyms and other mysteries defined:

OC: Unless otherwise indicated, the Original Cast recording of a Broadway show, along with the date.

OS: Unless otherwise indicated, the Original Soundtrack recording of a film, TV show, etc.


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